Out with the old.

Today is my first day of uninterrupted time in 2012. The kids and husband are off doing what they do most days, school and work.  They’re not here asking me to help with a math problem, to help scan pictures into facebook, to help fold blankets that toppled in a linen closet, to help bleach dirty shoes, or to help seal thank you note envelopes.

Nope, they’re gone. And I miss them just a tiny bit. As I was driving home from my final drop-off this morning, I saw a typical January San Francisco sight.  Christmas trees are piled on the street corners when their owners are ready to let them go.  In a few weeks, the city will come collect them all at one time and off they will go to the dump or the compost heap.  But for now, almost every corner has two or three trees, some wreaths and even a few boughs and swags. Just a few weeks ago, these trees were all loved, adored and nurtured.  They provided atmosphere, vibe and ambiance to the holiday season and helped families or groups of friends come together.  Now they are outside in the cold and waiting to be picked up.

Our tree is out there in the mix and I had a hard time letting it go.  I loved sitting in the living room, soaking up the twinkling lights and looking at the ornaments. But the needles were dropping, it had stopped drinking water and the presents beneath had made their way to the bedrooms a week ago. Everything has a season and the tree’s time was up.

Today as I looked over the discarded piles on street corners, I wondered what else needs to be discarded?  What friendship that used to be adored and nurtured has dried up?  What activity or commitment have I been devoted to that has seen its prime and needs to be taken to the corner and left there?  I have a hard time saying goodbye and moving on.  I travel through life carrying heavy loads of the past, trying to breath new life into dead things.

It’s time to let them go and move into 2012 lighter and more nimble. So long old trees.